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Prioritising Your Children’s Needs in Adverse Circumstances

September 21st, 2018

One of the hardest times to be a parent is during a divorce or separation. Children are at risk when parents cannot contain their own emotional process. It is vital during this time to have an outlet for your own well-being – this could be friends, family, or therapy. It is hugely beneficial to keep your own feelings and needs separate from your children. For virtually all children, divorce is a challenging transition. However, children are very resilient and, if managed carefully, they may carry the mark of the divorce without any permanent damage to their emotional and mental health.

With the right help, children can emerge emotionally healthy from a separation. But this takes a conscientious effort for the parents to manage personal and legal aspects in a responsible and adult manner away from the children. To protect your children, it is important that, wherever possible, you manage your personal grief and fears separately. Therapy can help play an important role in helping you process emotions to enable a smoother transition for your children.  Separating your feelings from your child’s needs is the essential starting point for this process.

Useful Reading:

Robert Emery (2006).The truth about children and divorce. Plume.

Paula Hall, Help your children cope with divorce. Relate.

Karen & Nick Woodall. The Guide for Separated Parents. Putting your children first.

Christina McGhee. Parenting Apart: how separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids.

 


 

Written by

Emma Chamberlain

Counsellor / Psychotherapist
at Counselling Development

Emma Chamberlain is a respected and highly-qualified Counsellor / Psychotherapist based in Stony Stratford, Milton Keynes. Emma is experienced with successfully working with clients experiencing a wide range of issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, panic attacks, emotional distress, low self-esteem, relationship problems, work-related problems, grief, bereavement and loss, fear, anger, trauma, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, bullying, suicidal thoughts and those struggling with life’s transitional times.

Emma has a strong academic background including a BA (Hons) in Psychology and an MSc in Integrative Psychotherapy. Emma worked extensively as a Counsellor for MIND – the UK’s leading mental health charity. Emma is an accredited member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and works to their ethical framework.

Emma works from a humanistic relational perspective following the Clarkson 5 Relationship Model. This offers a flexible relationship based approach to counselling / psychotherapy and can include CBT/ DBT and a range of other approaches. Emma’s current research interests include exploring how counsellors and clients work together when the client has Asperger Syndrome and she is experienced in working with adults on the Autistic Spectrum.

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  • Talk To One Of Our Legal Experts

    01908 262680

    enquiries@hawkinsfamilylaw.co.uk

    enquiries@hawkinsfamilylaw.co.uk

    Talk To One Of Our Legal Experts

    01908 262680

    enquiries@hawkinsfamilylaw.co.uk

    enquiries@hawkinsfamilylaw.co.uk

    2017 Family: Beds, Bucks, Herts and Middx – South East

    Hawkins Family Law is ‘an excellent family firm which goes the extra mile for its clients’, and the team is praised for its ‘well-honed communication skills and insightful advice’. Key areas of focus include high-value financial matters and divorce cases, and the recent arrival of Stacey St Clair has brought significant cross-border, international relocation and child abduction expertise to the group. Practice head Jo Hawkins is ‘an immensely good judge of character’ and ‘litigates firmly but fairly’. The other key figure is Loraine Davenport, who focuses on high net-worth ancillary relief.

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    2016 – Family/Matrimonial – Milton Keynes and surrounds

    What the team is known for Boutique family law firm that punches above its weight in terms of high-value and complex matrimonial finance instructions relating to business assets, pensions and substantial property portfolios. Also represents clients in the negotiation of wealth protection agreements and private law childcare arrangements. Fields a team trained in collaborative law and alternative dispute resolution. Strengths “This is a boutique family law firm that goes the extra mile for their clients,” an interviewee affirms. The team is also praised for its meticulous approach, with clients saying: “They really fight for you. They are very thorough; there are no slip-ups”.

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