September 22nd, 2017
Often during complicated times and periods of uncertainty, we can start to become overwhelmed with emotions. We can have complex and troubling thoughts about our past and fears about what the future may bring.
When this happens, the old adage of taking one day at a time may prove useful. It can help slow things down and create a situation in which you try to focus on the next hour or even the next five minutes. This can help reduce feelings of panic.
In emotionally fraught times it can be very difficult to know how to manage your own feelings. Often the best way to start is to say you just have a day, don’t worry if it is a good or bad day – just look after yourself.
It can be extremely challenging to be kind to yourself and make yourself a priority. But in doing so, you can create a situation in which you may be better able to deal with the challenges you are facing.
Caring for your mental health is vital at all times - even more so during a life crisis such as divorce. Being mentally well will hopefully enable you to maintain your physical health (and vice versa). Being aware of your usual patterns and routines can really help.
It’s important to look out for things that might attack your mental health without you even realising.
Look after your sleep. Limit caffeine after midday and stick to a routine.
Try a sleep meditation. This can help with moderating your thoughts and alleviating anxiety before sleep. This is one example, but there are many, so it is worth trying a few to find one that suits your needs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJjc4XreJSQ.
It can also be helpful to use a daily meditation app such as Calm or Headspace.
Be aware of changes in your alcohol or drug (prescribed or otherwise) intake. Alterations to your usual patterns can be an indication that you are using drugs as a coping mechanism. This is usually an unhelpful strategy long term. Remember to talk to your GP. Eat well or at least be mindful of your eating patterns - over or under eating can very quickly influence your mood.
See a therapist even if you feel you are ok. Having an independent person to talk to can be hugely beneficial in caring for your mental health. Therapy can also help you reframe your position, process grief and potentially help you to recognise and avoid maladaptive behaviours that can lead to mental and physical ill health.
Exercise or be outside
Try to spend some time each day outside or doing something physical that you enjoy. It can be very hard to think of what this might be if you are in the midst of a crisis. But try to do something even if you feel you are doing it badly. It is better than doing nothing at all! Hobbies and personal interests are usually the first thing to vanish when people are experiencing difficulties. Making time for things that make you feel good or things you have routinely done as a hobby can really help in normalising your routine and maintaining stability.
If you are feeling depressed or anxious it can be hard to think of things to do that might give you space and time to feel better. If you are feeling depressed, you can become convinced that you are bad at everything and doing anything at all feels enormously hard. If you are grieving it can be very challenging to concentrate for long periods of time. Set small achievable goals, sometimes getting dressed is enough.
Be kind to yourself and check in with yourself daily to be aware of any potential mental health saboteurs!
Hawkins Family Law fields 'a very professional team that delivers a high-class service and has strength-in-depth from senior to junior level'. Managing director and team head Jo Hawkins provides 'clear and accurate advice and moral support through often testing times for her clients; she focuses on deriving the best long-term outcome for her client and other parties'. The practice has particular strength financial matters, including divorce and ToLATA proceedings. Other key figures include Loraine Davenport, who has strong collaborative law expertise and handles complex children cases and high-net-worth ancillary relief matters; Annabel Hayward, who focuses on complex financial provision and co-habitation matters; and Stacey St Clair.
For more information please click here.
What the team is known for
Boutique family law firm that punches above its weight in terms of high-value and complex matrimonial finance instructions relating to business assets, pensions and substantial property portfolios, including assisting with the handling of assets abroad. Also represents clients in the negotiation of wealth protection agreements and private law childcare arrangements. Fields a team trained in collaborative law and alternative dispute resolution.
An impressed client says: "The team's personal service and individual care is a great asset,"adding that the lawyers are "always available to assist and understand the occasional need for immediate advice and guidance, providing a very reassuring service."
For more information please click here.